You're Not A Failure

Dear Diary,

To the Mom who feels like she is a failure,

YOU'RE NOT

I know you've heard it before. You've read the articles, blog posts, tweets and Facebook statuses... You know you're not supposed to compare yourself to other moms.You know you are supposed to cut out the negative self-talk.

But today...it just got to be too much.

Today, you heard that voice in the back of your head that said, "I'm a failure." Maybe you went to a friend's house and saw that it was spotless. Or maybe you saw your other friend really making an impact in others' lives and wondered what stops you from doing big things. Or maybe you just looked around your home and couldn't find a space to sit and think.

And it all just became overwhelming.

The grease spot on the kitchen wall. The dirty cup under the table. The toys, scraps of paper and lonely socks without a match.

I've been there.

I know sometimes you manage to talk yourself out of the slump. Some days you give yourself grace. You remind yourself that that friend has a messy home too sometimes. That the other friend doing "big things" is in a different place in her life right now than you. And that the dirty kitchen isn't such a big deal; you can take care of it tomorrow.

But today...it hurts a little more than usual.

Today, you need a little bit more convincing. Today, you need someone to remind you that it's ok that you don't have a live in maid like that sister, or a husband or mother to watch your kids like that other sister...And you're not supposed to. You don't have to live up to their reality. You are living YOUR life and You Are Not A Failure.

You are not your greasy walls, your misplaced cups or your lost laundry. You are not the "dinner-gone-wrong-let's-order-kabsa" days. You are not defined by your low times. You can dust off your pants and get back up again.

You can do this.

I know you can. And Allah knows you can. You just need to know you can.

I want you to do something for yourself. I'm sure if I told you to write down all of the things you didn't do/don't have/need to do to be like sister so-and-so, that you could you fill a page pretty quickly.

But that's not what I want you to do.

I want you to write a list of all the things you DID do. All of the things you are for your children. All of the times you did great.

It may take a while, but that's okay. There's no time limit. Write down some and come back to it if you have to.

And remember -

1. Don't compare yourself to your other mom-friends

2. Stop the negative self-talk

3. Insya Allah, you can try again tomorrow

4. You are not alone

Author: Andrea Umm Abdullah

Source: Islam For Kids' Facebook

Motherhood

Dear Diary,

Motherhood is a choice you make every day

To put someone else's happiness and well-being ahead of your own

To teach the hard lessons

To do the right thing even when you're not sure what the right thing is

...And to forgive yourself over and over again

For doing everything wrong

~~ Donna Ball ~~

Quoted from Being Mommy's Facebook

Dedication To All Mothers

Dear Diary,

DEDICATED TO ALL MOTHERS

She works 24 hours a day,

She's a Mum,

She's an alarm clock,

A cook, a maid,

A teacher, a nanny,

A nurse, a driver,

A handyman, a security officer,

A photographer, a counselor,

She doesn't get holiday, sick pay or days off,

She works through the day and the night,

And gets paid in hugs and kisses.

Quoted from Islam For Kids' Facebook

Cycle of Life

Dear Diary,

My dear girl, the day you see I'm getting old, I ask you to please be patient, but most of all, try to understand what I'm going through. If when we talk, I repeat the same thing a thousand times, don't interrupt to say: "You said the same thing a minute ago" ... Just listen, please. Try to remember the times when you were little and I would read the same story night after night until you would fall asleep.

When I don't want to take a bath, don't be mad and don't embarrass me. Remember when I had to run after you making excuses and trying to get you to take a shower when you were just a girl?

When you see how ignorant I am when it comes to new technology, give me the time to learn and don't look at me that way ... remember, honey, I patiently taught you how to do many things like eating appropriately, getting dressed, combing your hair and dealing with life's issue every day ... the day you see I'm getting old, I ask you to please be patient, but most of all, try to understand what I'm going through.

If I occasionally lose track of what we're talking about, give me the time to remember, and if I can't, don't be nervous, impatient or arrogant. Just know in your heart that the most important thing for me is to be with you.

And when my old, tired legs don't let me move as quickly as before, give me your hand the same way that I offered mine to you when you first walked. When those days come, don't feel sad ... just be with me, and understand me while I get to the end of my life with love. I'll cherish and thank you for the gift of time and joy we shared. With a big smile and the huge love I've always had for you, I just want to say, I love you ... my darling daughter.

Original text in Spanish and photo by Guillermo Pena.

Translation to English by Sergio Cadena.

Source: AARP's Facebook

Burned Biscuits

Dear Diary,

Another beautiful story to share...a lesson we all should learn

BURNED BISCUITS

When I was a kid, my Mom liked to make breakfast food for dinner every now and then. I remember one night in particular when she had made breakfast after a long, hard day at work. On that evening so long ago, my Mom placed a plate of eggs, sausage and extremely burned biscuits in front of my dad. I remember waiting to see if anyone noticed! All my dad did was reach for his biscuit, smile at my Mom and ask me how my day was at school. I don't remember what I told him that night, but I do remember watching him smear butter and jelly on that ugly burned biscuit. He ate every bite of that thing...never made a face nor uttered a word about it! When I got up from the table that evening, I remember hearing my Mom apologize to my dad for burning the biscuits. And I'll never forget what he said, "Honey, I love burned biscuits every now and then."

Later that night, I went to kiss Daddy good night and I asked him if he really liked his biscuits burned. He wrapped me in his arms and said, "Your Mom put in a hard day at work today and she's real tired. And besides - a little burned biscuit never hurt anyone!"

As I've grown older, I've thought about that many times. Life is full of imperfect things and imperfect people. I'm not the best at hardly anything, and I forget birthdays and anniversaries just like everyone else. But what I've learned over the years is that learning to accept each other's faults and choosing to celebrate each other's differences is one of the most important keys to creating a healthy, growing and lasting relationship.

And that's my prayer for you today...that you will learn to take the good, the bad, and the ugly parts of your life and lay them at the feet of God. Because in the end, He's the only One who will be able to give you a relationship where a burnt biscuit isn't a deal breaker! We could extend this to any relationship. In fact, understanding is the base of any relationship, be it a husband-wife or parent-child or friendship! "Don't put the key to your happiness in someone else's pocket - keep it in your own." So, please pass me a biscuit, and yes, the burned one will do just fine. Be kinder than necessary because everyone you meet is fighting some kind of battle.

Source unknown

Traditional Dances at Altinocak Restaurant, Cappadocia, Turkey, Nov 2012

Dear Diary,

Our fifth day in Turkey was pack with activities from early morning up until middle of the night. After a pit stop at Pasabag Valley for taking pictures, we went back to our hotel, refreshed ourselves, dined scrumptious buffet dinner then we gathered at the lobby for another activity. Remember our lunch at an underground cave restaurant, Altinocak Restaurant. That night after dinner, we went to the restaurant again. This time not for culinary experience but for cultural and folklore shows.

Light refreshments of mixed nuts, fresh fruits and Turkish Delights were served to us. From the listed shows, I was looking forward to watching Sufi whirling and belly dancing. Whirling dance was the first performance. There were two male dancers. One of them looked very deep in trance. It seemed as if he was hypnotized and was in another realm. It was surreal. For more in depth info, please click here.

Next, we enjoyed several upbeat traditional dances. The performances were lively and pleasurable.

As the night grew longer, our eyes were droopier. We were up from before dawn and we were dead tired! Furthermore, the kids started to act up. In the middle of the show, all of us unanimously agreed to call it a day. We longed for our beds and rests.

By going back early, we didn’t get to watch belly dancing though. Lucky, I already watched it at Colossae Spa & Thermal Hotel in Pamukkale.

Pasabag Valley, Cappadocia, Turkey, Nov 2012

Dear Diary,

We didn’t stay very long at the underground house in Cappadocia since we had a tight schedule to follow. Before heading back to our hotel, we made another photo stop at Pasabag Valley. In Turkish, Pasabag Valley means General's Vineyard.

Subhanallah was the first word that I uttered when I laid eyes on the landscape. Pasabag Valley, also known as Monks Valley, contains some of the most incredible fairy chimneys, with twin and triple rock caps. There before my eyes standing tall was pillars of rocks (fairy chimneys) with cone shaped black stones (rock caps) on top. These fairy chimneys are called mushroom shaped fairy chimneys. It seems like some magic hands work wonders by placing all the stones fittingly in place.

Volcano eruption and later erosion shaped this landscape to what it is today, a natural process that took million of years to materialize.

Betapa besar ciptaan dan kuasa Allah

Source: www.goreme.com

Tea Drinking at a Local House, Cappadocia, Turkey, Nov 2012

Dear Diary,

Not only we visited an underground city and lunched inside an underground cave restaurant, we were also welcomed into a local house (an underground one). This is an actual underground house with people still living in it. What an experience!

Pathway leading to the house

It was a simple house with minimal furniture and adornment

A heater in the middle of the living room…very useful during winter

The hospitable owner who has 2 children

Nice, hot tea

Zarra and Irfan enjoying their teas. Nak jadi cerita si Irfan dah bagi tumpah teh tu ataih carpet yang tuan rumah tu hand made. Masa tu rasa nak ja meresap masuk dalam tanah. Malu weh!

Hand made crafts by the landlady (bought few items....dah anak bagi tumpah teh kan)

Can you spot all the hanging grapes?

Altinocak Restaurant, Cappadocia, Turkey, Nov 2012

Dear Diary,

Having experience moon-like landscapes at Uchisar Castle,Pigeon Valley and Goreme Open Air Museum, we were all geared up for our next unique experience.

Destination: Altinocak Restaurant

Description: An underground cave restaurant

For lunch, we devoured bread with soup, salad, rice with fish and pudding.

For a while there, we got to experience “living” in a cave.

Address: Yeni Mahalle Hasankalesi Mevkii Eski Tuz Yolu No. 95 50500 Avanos Cappadocia. Website: www.cappadociarestaurants.com

Double Tree by Hilton, Avanos - Cappadocia, Turkey, Nov 2012

Dear Diary,

We spent about 1 hour at Mevlana Museum. Then, it was time to make a move to our next destination. After a couple of hours, we arrived in Cappadocia, a picturesque region blessed with natural wonders.

We straightaway went to our hotel and checked in. Double Tree by Hilton in Avanos, Cappadocia was where we stayed. Everything about this hotel got two thumbs up from us. It was the best hotel stay for our Turkey vacation. All aspects were first class from soft beds to fluffy pillows, from very friendly staffs to very good facilities, from nicely decorated interior to flavorful buffet spreads. We thoroughly enjoyed our stay there.

Room 4008 was our home away from home for 2 nights. It has 2 single beds that comfortably fit 1 adult and 1 child per bed. They added 1 extra bed for us.

What I like most was the room’s walk in closet. All our luggage and bags can be tidily kept in there. Another feature that I like was the room’s couch corner where we can curl up and relax or read a book.

On our first night at the hotel, we brought the kids for a swim at the hotel’s indoor pool. Besides outdoor and indoor pools, Double Tree also boasts of fitness center, sauna, Turkish bath and spacious function room that can seat 500 guests.

The food was superb. Among all hotels that we stayed, Double Tree served the best, most variety and most flavorful buffet spreads.

Address: Yenimahalle Kizilirmak Cad. 50500 Avanos / Nevsehir – Cappadocia, Turkey. Telephone number: +90 384 511 11 11. Fax number: +90 384 511 11 22. Website: www.doubletree.com

Horozlu Han, Konya, Turkey, Nov 2012

Dear Diary,

Let’s continue with my Turkey trip…

The kids on the bus

On our fourth day in Turkey, we checked out from ColossaeSpa & Thermal Hotel very early in the morning. We had to brace ourselves for a long journey ahead of us. 6 hours of scenic drive later, we safely arrived in Konya.

The main door

Us

Before exploring Konya, we first filled our tummies at this one unique place. As I entered the restaurant, I was captivated by its ambiance. Felt like I was stepping into a castle, exactly like the ones that we used to watch in fairytale. Kalau pakai gown kembang-kembang tu baru kena dengan suasana :-)

Very authentic interior

The decor

The place that I’m talking about is Horozlu Han or Horozlu Inn. It’s a caravanserai. Caravanserais, which are built during the Anatolian Seljuki era, are resting places for traders and their animals plying the trade routes. There are three types of caravanserais namely summer caravanserais (with a courtyard), winter caravanserais (with a covered area) and mixture type caravanserais (unification of both summer and winter caravanserais).

The food...

A type of bread

Lentil Soup

Cheese Pide - SO YUMMY!

Chicken Kavurma

Chocolate pudding - NICE!

Address: Horozluhan Mh., 42060 Konya, Turkey. Website: www.horozluhan.com

Belly Dancing

Dear Diary,

Malam tu lepaih dah mandi, solat, makan & bagi budak-budak tidoq, aku pun turun bawah sat pasai nak tengok belly dancing. Hubby setuju nak jaga budak-budak.

Oh mak oi, terbeliak sat la mata aku tengok si penari. Seksi! Bila pikiaq balik, kena la baju hat dia pakai tu dengan tarian dia. Nasib baik Hubby & budak-budak tak turun tengok sama. Tapikan dia pandai bergelek. Dia punya gelek tu yang mahai. Ada gelek laju, ada gelek gemalai. Gambaq tak boleh boh banyak-banyak na.

Aku dok tak lama pun. Mata tak beghapa nak boleh teghima. Segan la, aku soghang ya hat pakai tudung kat situ. Dalam 10 minit aku pun naik bilik balik.

Cotton Castle Pamukkale, Turkey, Nov 2012

Dear Diary,

The insanely breathtaking view that I talked about at the end of my previous entry is Cotton Castle of Pamukkale, stunning white calcium pools which cling to the side of a ridge. When I say stunning, I do really mean out of this world surreal landscape. It’s difficult to put it into words, to describe the place. You’ve got to be there to appreciate it.

In Turkish, Pamukkale means Cotton Castle. It is located adjacent to Hierapolis of Phrygia and is also declared as UNESCO World Heritage Site in 1988. So when you visit either one, you’d get to visit the other one too. Natural geological phenomena in which deposits left from waters abundance with minerals that flow from a mountain formed this visually spectacular site. Calcium cascade terraces developed over time from the process.

We dipped our feet in the knee high pool. The water was not hot, just lukewarm - suam-suam kuku. Visitors cannot simply step anywhere on the travertine since it can easily damage and change color. There is, however, an area allocated for visitors to walk bare foot. It is believed that the water is able to heal ailments.

My pictures don’t do justice to the splendor of this place. Again I stress, you have to be there to fully grasp its uniqueness. Everywhere you look it is so white with steam coming from the hot spring it looks like a scene from a fairytale.

Apart from Niagara Falls and Grand Canyon, Pamukkale’s Cotton Castle is another awe inspiring landscape that I had been blessed to witness. At these places, I felt so tiny so insignificant in this huge world.

Source: www.pamukkale.net